It's been a Month

It's been a month since my mom died.  I am still trying to get "Thank You" notes out.  I can usually whip them out within a week, but writing these are draining.  "Thank you for ......  Mom would have been so honored..... "  It's hard writing to people and speaking "for" Mom at the same time.

It's been a month, and I still pick up my phone to call her on my way home from work.  Her phone hasn't been cut off, so I call anyway just to hear her voicemail message.  I also still dream about her like she's still here.

It's been a month, and I am still wearing waterproof mascara, because I never know when I'll burst into tears.  Driving home from work is typically when you can find me crying.  At our doctor's appointment, when we were watching the sonogram, all I could think was "I wish my mom could see this!"

It's been a month, and every Tuesday, I think "Mom died [x] weeks ago."  When will I stop counting?

It's been a month, and we still haven't completely cleaned out Mom's room.  I liken it to "Empty Nest" syndrome---you know, like when your kids go off to college?  We're keeping it set up just in case she decides to come home.  I walk past the room and feel empty.

It's been a month, and people stil ask me how I am.  WTF?!  How do I respond to that?  How do I put into words how I am?  I'm devestated.  But, you can't say that to people, because it's awkward for them.  So, I just smile and say "I'm doing great."

It's been a month............

Surprise

Paul and I are so excited to share with you that we are expecting a baby boy this August!

As of today, I am 21 weeks pregnant, and I feel great...minus the sore lower back and stuffy nose.  I actually can't believe I'm so far along.  Where has the time gone?

Yes, my mom did know I was pregnant.  She went to my very first doctor's appointment with me and got to hear the heartbeat.  A few days before she died, she said something about having grandsons....so I figured then that she was speaking prophetically and that I was having a boy.  I wasn't shocked in the least bit when we popped the balloon and the blue confetti revealed what my mom had already told me!

We are over the moon excited and can't wait to start this new chapter in our lives!

Mom's Memorial Service

It is with great sadness that my siblings and I let you know that our sweet Honey passed away this morning at 3 am.  She was an exceptional, faithful, loving, and wonderful woman who never doubted for one minute that she would one day walk the golden streets of Heaven with Jesus.  She's up in Heaven dancing with HIM right now---we just know it. 

We welcome you to come celebrate our beloved mom with us. 

Details for her memorial service are below: 

This Saturday, March 1, at 2 pm. 
Trinity Church Dallas - 4300 Cole Avenue, Dallas, TX 75205 
http://www.trinitydallas.com/ 

Per Mom's wishes, a contribution can be made to You Can Free Us http://www.youcanfree.us/ in lieu of flowers.  This ministry was incredibly near and dear to her heart. 

Life Changes Quickly

I've been debating whether to write a blog about this, which is why it's taken me so long.

2 weeks ago, I took my mom to the ER because she was in an unbearable amount of pain.  During the visit, the doctors found that her entire liver was consumed with cancer.  To repeat what the doctor said, "There is so much cancer that you can't distinguish the cancer from the liver."

She came home a couple of days later and we immediately set up hospice.  So, for the past 2 weeks, we've been living through her declining health.  We've been dealing with her decliding liver function.

It's all happened so quickly--the decline, that is.  One minute you are having High Tea at the Arboretum (top picture), and then next, you're helping her do daily tasks, like get in and out of bed.  Talk about her Memorial Service find their way naturally into conversations.  Her precious jewelry sits in the jewelry boxes of my siblings and me.

I find myself making breakfast in the morning, crying over my cup of tea.  Blow-drying my hair - crying.  Driving home from work - crying.  Waking up at 3 in the morning - crying.

There's no book written on how a 27 year old should handle losing her 52 year old mother.  So for now, I'll continue to cry my way through.

Elie Saab: Haute Couture

I am totally in love with Elie Saab.  Every collection he's produced has been fabulous, in my opinion.  His most recent 2014 collection, which just debuted in Paris, has not let me down.  I can only dream of the day I'd have a chance to wear one of these beauts to a gala!

Wouldn't the white pearl jacket & skirt be just amazing to wear to work???
What about that little purple number?  I'd wear it as my Easter Sunday dress.  
Which is your favorite?

Happy New Year

It's been a while, hasn't it?

I stopped blogging consistently last year because I felt like all I talked about were sad things happening in my life.  Or if I wasn't talking about those things, I felt guilty that I was thinking about other things.

As a quick update, my mom has moved in with us permanently.  Over the holidays, we moved her out of the house she's lived in for 15+ years, and now she is with us full time becasue she could no longer live alone.  This is sad, because she's only 52, but it's also wonderful because we get to see her every day and I know she's being taken care of.

The Mr. and I are continuing on with all the random projects we've got going on.  In 2013, we completed our Master Bath Remodel (pictures to come) and bought the cutest little house that we were able to rent out only 15 days after closing.  (We like to call it "Starting our Empire".) The tenant even signed a 2 year contract!

And today, in fact, we are having the large cottonwood tree in our front yard cut down.  Branches have been dropping from it for the past year, and an Arborist told us it was dying, so the Mr. wanted to make sure the tree didn't fall on our house.  Perhaps I'll post pictures of that too.....maybe!

So, while we struggle with the sad things in life, I am reminded of all that we have to be happy about.  I can't wait to share more happy news to come!

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