Monday, August 1, 2011

Monday: How to Keep a Healthy Level of Insanity

At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

Dont use any punctuation marks

As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

Sing along at the opera.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.

When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"

Tell your children over dinner. "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

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